The Wedding Feast

Posted by on August 19, 2012

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12: 1-2

We come together for various occasions in life. Some happy and some sad. In such incidences there is tremendous opportunity for the presence of God to be known.

Such was the scenario in celebrating the marriage of my very very dear friend Sue. Sue knew me before I knew Christ. We offered each other support in the perils that inevidably come into anyone’s life on this earth. Some situations are unnecessary, but happen due to any number of contributing factors. Mine was that I was gay.  I was in search of happiness. Always seeking the right partner. Always trying to fill a void which can really only be filled by our Creator. Even right relationships cannot offer what only our Creator promises if we will full submit ourselves to Him.

I allowed life … and its deceptive distortions orchestrated by none other than satan himself to suck me into many false satisfactions. One was alcohol. Some people will live deliberately in denial and be quite content. I lived in denial of truth and soaked it with alcohol. One evening I had not had much to drink, but was lonely and Sue allowed me to come and bring my dogs to her house just to be around someone who I trusted. Someone who loved me genuinely.

On my way there, I was pulled over for expired tabs. When the officer asked for my registration, I began to fumble through the glove compartment. The air was cold and crisp and the heat inside the car began to escape with the window down. With it came the scent of the couple of scotches I had had. Soon the expired tabs were no longer of any concern and long story short… I was arrested for a DUI.

Today, Sue reminds me that things happen for a reason. That happened eleven years ago.  I had taken a deferred prossicution and went through two years of an outpatient rehabilitation program.  During my sobriety God was edging closer and closer to my conscience and while I wasn’t aware of it, a transformation had begun in my ability to begin to hear Him more clearly.

More than three years ago I sat contemplating the fact that every gay friend I had … was now dead. There I sat one morning contemplating my many years of same-sex attraction. God allows us to get into some tight corners sometimes in order to hear Him speak to us. And to me He was saying; “So Wayne… can you hear me now?”  Will you take time now to get to know me and recognize the importance of Jesus and His life instead of focusing on your own?  Can you understand that I only want the very best for you, but you won’t know what those plans are unless you give your live wholly and completely over to me.  Like many examples of wayward sons in the Bible, I had been intent on living according to my plans and rationalizations instead of following the plans that God has for me.

This revelation changed my life forever. I invited Jesus into my heart. Into my life.  I asked Him to take charge. And no matter what trial may come my way, I will not walk through it alone. I’ll walk through it with Jesus. And because I know and trust Him today, I know that there are times that He will prove His love to me by carrying me when I am weak.  Because of Him my life today is that of a changed man. A prodigal returned home to serve Him and to learn from Him and allow Him to use me. And indeed He has done just that.

It’s been years since I have lived near Sue. A few months ago she announced to me that she was engaged and invited me to her wedding which took place yesterday.   The location was at her home right at the waters edge of a beautiful lake.  From the moment I walked in the door, there was such an atmosphere of great joy, celebration and reunion.  She looked beautiful and happier than I think I have ever seen her.  There was such peace and excitement all at once.

I hadn’t even begun to think about who would be there. But there were many who I had worked with years ago. And also Sue’s children whom I had not seen for years. One by one I was reunited with those who had not seen me for years. Every last one of them told me how fabulous I looked and how they could not believe how much joy and happiness was visible in my face, as though I had a new partner and was in a serene relationship.  Many asked if I had a new person in my life. Someone I am living with.  And each time I was asked, I was overjoyed to point my finger skyward and say; “Yes I do… and His name is Jesus Christ!”  The transformation that even I was not fully aware of was spilling out like bubbles out of a bubble machine. It seemed contagious. Over and over I kept hearing how fantastic I looked and how happy I am.   God is absolutely amazing!  Do you see how if we will trust Him and give over to Him even the things that we thought brought us happiness, but were really deceptive tools of satan, He will transform us with victory and healing that only He can provide?

I went to bring joy, and received far more than I could have imagined. I saw people recognize the purity of what only Jesus could do. Some of them may not credit it to God, but I know from my intimate relationship with Jesus, that He is the only one that is responsible for such a transformation. Before even mentioning Him, His presence was sensed. It was not about Wayne Blakely. It was about the gifts Jesus Christ has given to Wayne Blakely.  I was truly humbled. My heart was sooo warm and I came away wanting to know Him more and fall in love with Him more then ever before.

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1   I am so honored to know Him.

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