Posted by on June 4, 2011

“God may not want to use you this way.”

“You need to tell more about God’s love, than about what you believe to be truth! Truth is open for interpretation for all.”

“You’re being too hard on him.”  (A reference made by an observer after my advice to engage in a more personal relationship with Jesus. Rather than adopting the comment the person made to me; ‘God’s just going to have to understand, I need a little self-gratification.'”

Waiting …. after God seemingly opened doors, but there doesn’t seem to be any follow up.

Continued trust!


Being imperfect and having people try to shape you into what they believe God wants you to be.

Listening… but not hearing God speak to me “audibly” and trying to gauge whether the impulses are coming from God or from self.



Communion with God and meditation




Passion being misunderstood for something other than being Christ centered and the advancement of His love, truth and forgiveness.

Being the answer to so many prayers, but not recognizing change in relationships. Almost thinking that there was more continuity in relationships when I lived an open gay lifestyle.

Not knowing

Driven by what seems to be clear answers and solutions revealed to me through Christ

Continuous prayer and turning it over to Christ.

Feelings……………….  Still trying to fog the truth that Jesus makes clear to us over and over again.

Choice ……………… Believe the truth of Jesus or be misled by feelings and the tempter.




Forgiving Self

Abiding in Christ

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Today, probably more than at any other time, we as people are challenged by a huge array of overwhelming temptations. By sight, by feelings, in thought…  It is my opinion that now, more than ever before, as Christians we must make our alliance with God. We are either for Him or against Him. We must choose.

Much in the way of stumbling blocks will be thrown in our pathway to test our relationship with our Redeemer. Will we cave in ? Well we falter? Will we give up? Will we let feelings take over and redirect our attentions to the things or people that bring self gratification and self indulgence?  Do we understand the “Great Controversy” taking place over our lives? Do we take our lives seriously or are we just passing through and not contemplating the meaning of life and our true responsibility?

For the last two years my life has been dedicated to doing God’s will instead of my own. Am I perfect now? By no means. Self continues to try to get in the way. But I recognize that and keep asking God to take control even when I don’t understand what He is doing and why.

I have so much to learn. I continue to study and trust that God is directing my attentions to where He wants them. I must continually SURRENDER my whole body and mind to Him in order or Him to complete the work that He started in me. It is for my salvation. My gaze and my focus must be completely and totally on Him in order for His purpose in me to be accomplished.  It’s not about how many people I can reach or how many minds I can change. That is not my job.

I choose to believe that God has preserved my life and by that example show to others how patient and loving our God is. To show that there is Hope for every soul who will listen and respond to His call to their heart.

Jesus is calling you home. Not to your earthly home.  He is calling you to a home that will be yours forever and ever. No hurt or pain. No judgments to be made. But communing with Him and His believers for eternity.

Contemplating a home without the presence of sin washes the soul with purpose and dedication.

Jesus is tenderly calling… Come home… come home

Filed Under: Wayne's Blog